meh.

gsff

Mon, 03 Nov 2008 12:59:49 GMT

BLOGGING HERE NOW http://schmicles.tumblr.com/
FTWkthxbye

rtgergethgtghteh

Wed, 29 Oct 2008 05:52:23 GMT

So, in the spirit of becoming a pirate, here's a song for no one else but me me me.

We sail today
Tears drown in the wake of delight
There's nothing like this built today
You'll never see a finer ship or receive a better tip in your life

WHAT. THE. FUCK.

Tue, 28 Oct 2008 10:27:57 GMT

Shiver me timbers! I'll never change the language EVER AGAIN.
To err is human, to arr is pirate.

fgfdgfdgdg

Sun, 12 Oct 2008 13:10:37 GMT

I just don't know what to do with myself.

fgsrfg

Sun, 12 Oct 2008 12:48:59 GMT

I found a new place to be sad.
This place, even if I sat and cried for hours no one would question me.
I will probably be rewarded with a pat on the back and a comforting smile to go with it.

Everyone there is secretly sad.
Maybe not secretly. It's relatively quiet, far from everywhere, yet so cheap for me to go.

I want to go there now, in fact, even though I'm not sad.
It's my favourite place.
I want to go there.

And listen to Split Sides.
And Interpol's No I in Threesome.
On repeat.

I went there the other day, I was happy when I found the place.
Sat there alone for I don't know how long.
It didnt seem long. I saw dark clouds, strong winds, raindrops, yet it was so quiet.
When the storm ended it was still quiet.

Nak pergi. Now.

uggy honestly dshdsahdo

Thu, 09 Oct 2008 04:59:17 GMT

Honestly, really, honestly, I would love to wear gladiator sandals.
Unfortunately, everyone is wearing them, which makes me sick to the stomach.
But really, I want to wear a brown one. Or a beige. Or a light green one. Really.
Because i've always been a fan of strappy-straps, and gladiators we normally see are flat. And I like things that are flat. I wish I was flat.

Honestly, I've been wanting FMBs since I was in high school. The thought of having shiny PVC, or soft leather. MM. Nice. Sigh...FMBs.
And platform boots. Like those army ones.

Honestly, I am against black tights. And white. People only wear white for ballet.
I saw black knitted ones the other day, they were really nice, I've been looking for knitted ones for a long time.
Unfortunately they're black. So I didn't buy them.
Everytime I see people wear black ones with lace at the ends I feel the urge to burn them.
But that would be just mean. Black is a versatile colour anyway.

Today, I splurged on plants. PLANTS. 2 for my mom, 2 for me.
My mom's birthday is tomorrow, she'll be... hmm. She'll be 51.
I bought her periuk kera, her favourite, a healthy one, and a flowery plant with little lilac flowers and the leaves look like purple-magenta butterflies. #CA1F7B to be exact. Beautiful.

And I bought a new blusher. It makes me look so pretty I cant wait to wake up tomorrow to wear it. Right after I put some on just now, I couldn't stop smiling. Hana probably thought I was over-reacting. But hey whatever man, I'm like blushing (fake-ly) but like whatever seriously.
I want to put some on right now.

Anyway, I want to wear gladiators. One day. I'm always too slow to catch up anyway, so when people have moved on to something else, flip flops or I don't know. Jelly flats or whatever you call them, I will wear my outdated gladiators. In light green.
If I ever find one.

And when the weather is cold and I look hot enough, I will wear my FMBs.
And get laid. Meheheheheheheheh.

yjyrjy

Wed, 08 Oct 2008 18:20:34 GMT

Last year, I didn't salam my parents during raya.
Why?
It's complicated, it's not that I don't think they deserve my apologies, or that I don't need to because I'm their daughter and they'll forgive me anyways, it's just that...
There are many ways to show that I'm sorry and I won't do it again.

And until I stay true to my words and not do whatever it is that I did, again, then I will apologise.
I mean, say I salam-ed my parents and ask for their forgiveness, say my dad hates it when I come back late. So I said sorry, and then for the whole of the year after that, I come back late.
Ada hati nak mintak maaf? Memang tak aa. I don't think I should salam, that would only give them hope. That I would come back early and what not.

Besides, I have my reasons why I came back late. They need to see me resume.

And why should I be the only one mintak-ing maaf, they owe me some too.
Just because I'm their daughter doesn't mean they're always right and I'm always at fault.

...but anyway, last year, I didn't salam on the first day because of that.
Second day, I figured I shouldn't be so anal and complicated and just salam for the sake of salam-ing and that's probably what they want.
It's the only time of the year when I make physical contact with them anyway, I don't touch my family members. Not in a sick way, but literally. No skin contact at all.
Third day, I forgot. Eventually, I didn't salam at all.

This year, I salam-ed because I bumped into my dad and he said "HA dah salam ke belum! Mesti belum! Bila nak salam?"
I hesitated, in front of him, I looked at the staircase, I looked at my shoes, I looked at him, I looked around, and then I salam-ed. He asked me why I didn't salam earlier, and I said "Sebab..." and I saved my rather long explanation for this blog.
Maybe one day they'll read it and understand.

I wanted to salam my mom in the room where no one can see me salam-ing her. It's nothing personal, but I'd rather do my personal-family-bonding-thing in private.
She refused, and walked out the door laughing. Confused I followed her and she stood next to the dining table and told me to line up.
There was no line, so naturally and obviously I was first. She was happy I salam-ed.
She kissed my cheek(s?) and I didn't bother wiping it off because her lipstick could've passed off as my fake blusher anyway.

fdfdsgds

Mon, 06 Oct 2008 18:33:43 GMT

I like being in my own shell.
Peeking at you.

Tee hee.
Watch me burst your bubble.

rtretrt

Mon, 06 Oct 2008 18:06:57 GMT

I sent a mass email to all my contacts saying I'm done with 'chatting' and that if anyone should find a need to speak to me, they could just email me.
I still dont talk to strangers and I still want twins.
TWINS.
I am thinking of ending my portable telephone life. Fuck socialising. I love emails.
Fuck my computer.
I don't use it anymore. It's too friggin slow.
So yeah, now it's fuck MSN, YM, friendster, myspace, friends for sale, jetman, my computer, maxis, weekly top-ups, and socialising, in general.

The only socialising event I look forward to is Rumah Haiku and open houses with duit raya.

iPod on shuffle wasn't such a good idea. Played Mono's 'Mere Your Pathetique Light', a song I listened to once every 5 songs, cried my lungs out post-break-up. Or at least I subconsciously cried my lungs out on purpose.
I still get the butterflies.
The feeling of nervousness, like you know something bad is about to happen.

Also, fuck handphones and my nostalgic self for keeping his old msgs. And for reading them the other day out of curiosity.
One that got me most was him saying 'Sleep tight my baby boy'.
I had just cut my hair that time, and he said I looked like a boy from behind.
I remember that time. My hair was long and pretty that time, but I couldn't stand it this one fine Wednesday morning, so I had it cut.
Short.
The next day he came to my house, our usual twice/thrice weekly outing (we went out almost everyday), I sat next to him and he smiled, I surprised him with my short hair. One of my many (or not) surprises.
I remember his hand touching my hair, messing it up. He was still smiling, probably laughing.
Mm, memories. Baby boy. Budak busuk air liur basi. Budak Kecik. My favourite is 'Comel Little Girl'.

We still hang out, which is extremely great. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I've had enough unwanted attention from people I don't know and don't want to know.

but anyway, yeah. Fuck socialising. Bye.

tyeryey

Mon, 22 Sep 2008 10:54:12 GMT

I went to Taiping the other day to take pictures of the Mid-Autumn Festival.
Was disappointed, thought my pictures weren't good at all. Mediocre.
Yeah I was quite disappointed with myself that time because I had just bought a 50mm and flash for that.

My lecturer and tutor saw the pictures and they said it was good.
I saw my classmate last weekend and she said my lecturer complimented my pictures, saying I did a 'good' job.

... I still feel disappointed when I look back and the pictures I took.
But oh well. 7 more days to raya. I need my biscuits and money.